Pet Peeves Reveal Your Underlying Values

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Lately I’ve come across more than my fair share of aggressive drivers on the road, and the advent of spring reminds me that when you roll down the windows you often become someone else’s ashtray. But in order to feel justified venting about such things here, I must deliver some insight into the topic.

Everyone has pet peeves, you do and I do. As I’ve pondered some of mine, I’ve come to realize that things set me off because they are counter to values and beliefs I hold strongly. Here are a few examples:

Peeve: Tailgating & Aggressive Driving
Value: People are responsible for their own actions and responsible that those actions don’t recklessly endanger others around them.

Peeve: Smoking in Public
Value: A twist on the above. Do what you want, so long as it doesn’t infringe on someone around you.

Peeve: Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Value: Straightfoward, honest relationships where people are up front with each other, aren’t manipulative, and don’t backbite.

Peeve: Ugly MySpace Profiles
Value: Good, clean design, proper use of the English language in written form, and intelligence. ;-)

What are some of the things that set you off, and what values do they highlight?

Posted on 25 March '08 by Tim Courtney, under Anti-Smoking, Musings, Self-Improvement.

2 Comments to “Pet Peeves Reveal Your Underlying Values”

#1 Posted by mempko (26.03.08 at 08:35 )

I went to Party City and bought a clown nose a while back. When I have aggressive drivers behind me, I put it on. I suppose it either confuses people, or they get the joke that life is to short to get so angry. Or they get madder.

However, I do not hold the same value of “People are responsible for their own actions” as you do. I do not think it is as simple as that. Especially if there is some sort of cause and effect in this universe, whether it is, or is not deterministic.

Now, I guess my biggest pet peeve is when a person leaves a bottle, or plastic bag, or something in their parking spot and drive off. My corresponding value is that people should try harder to look at the long term effects on their actions. What I found is that generally, people are not really good at connecting the dots and generally think too individualistically.

#2 Posted by Tim Courtney (26.03.08 at 19:27 )

Gotta say I LOVE the clown nose idea. My boss told me of a guy who put the tip of a pencil eraser over his nose on his drivers’ license. Whenever someone checks his ID, he reaches in his pocket, pulls out a clown nose, looks at them and smiles. Great stuff.

I don’t pretend to be a debater or a philosopher. But what I do know is I have plenty of reasons to hold a victim mindset and I’ve changed the way I thought and moved (and am moving) forward. Yes we all have influences and influencers that have shaped our thinking but I believe we all have choices of what to do with that information. That’s the core of what I’m getting at. Again, not a debater :-)

To your peeve, I agree as well. Cigarette butts really set me off. I’ve always wanted to have the stones to throw a butt back in someone’s car and say “you dropped this,” but I’d be responsible for my own actions on that one. ;-)