Stop hanging out with people who pull you down
I was involved in a group once with someone who was so negative that I’ve even wondered how they are alive. When I would walk into a meeting, they wouldn’t say “hello,” but would creepily come up from behind and softly launch into a complaint, like “some jerk cut me off on the road today, blah blah blah” or “did you hear about what my boss said? wahhh wahh wahh.” With this person, nothing was positive or even pleasant, ever. They laid out their sorry financial and medical situation to anyone who would listen, talking bad about relatives and friends and passing blame. Not surprisingly, nothing was ever their responsibility (and certainly they weren’t responsible for their attitude).
People who act this way suck energy, and if you’re not careful, they can discourage you from moving forward; whether that’s taking on new projects, learning about an area of interest, or pursuing lifelong goals. They can also poison social groups and make them no longer enjoyable for you and other participants.
Are you spending your time with people who cast a black cloud over everything? Or how about with the group that sits in the corner at an event and mocks everybody?
How is that working out for you? Are you happy?
I’ve had to do this reality check for myself many times, and I still do. I’ve been the king of commiserating and a mocker with the worst of them. Nothing good has come out of it, ever. I would leave feeling worse and no closer to my goals. And how do you know you aren’t the target of these peoples’ destructive diatribe when you walk away? You don’t, and you probably are.
Because people and attitudes like this are so common, it’s easy to treat this behavior as acceptable. We live in a society of 24×7 news that’s all negative. War, shootings, economics, scams, scandals, and celebrity gossip. And something about how we’re wired compels us to watch like a bad car accident.
My challenge to myself, and to you, is to stop putting up with it and turn it all off.
- Stop sympathizing with the people who only complain. “Don’t let them rent space in your head.“
- Ditch the watercooler gang, the rumor mill, and those who thrive on being divisive.
- Turn off the TV (and go do something positive). Especially the news and entertainment shows. Lifehack.org posts 10 things you can do instead.
- Find like-minded, positive friends who share your interests, goals, and dreams.