Archive for 'Self-Improvement'
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This week is TV Turnoff Week, the wonderful initiative started by Adbusters and the Center for Screen-Time Awareness to encourage us to turn off the idiot box. I stopped watching TV when I moved out of my parents’ house almost two years ago. I haven’t missed it. Yes, I have a screen for movies and watch occasionally, but otherwise I find things to do like exercise, read, and further my knowledge via the Internet. My only regular TV exposure right now is when I’m in the gym; there I enjoy watching the History Channel.
I encourage you this week to turn off your TV and discover activities that refresh you. Here are ten things you can do this week instead of watch TV:
- Read a Book - The one you’ve been putting off reading. Or, you can read about the media, books such as Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman or Bias: A CBS Insider Exposes How the Media Distort the News by Bernard Goldberg.
- Pick up a new skill or enroll in a class. Right now I’m reading Rod Machado’s Private Pilot Handbook and studying up on my knowledge before beginning lessons.
- Two words: Spring Cleaning!
- Go for a walk/jog/bike ride outside.
- Attend a cultural event, concert, or visit an art gallery if you’re into that sort of thing (then again, if you are, how much TV do you really watch?)
- Go throw a ball or play a game with some friends - it’s about that time of year!
- Cook a meal and eat it together as a family. If you aren’t married or don’t have kids, invite some friends over and cook a meal together.
- Play a board game or party game. Recently I had fun playing classics like Connect 4 and Pit with some friends. Other current favorites are Catch Phrase and Apples to Apples.
- Write something - a short story, a long story, a how-to guide or even some thank-you notes. Start a blog and publish what you wrote.
- Review your goals and catch up on your to-do lists. Don’t kick yourself, just give yourself permission to take a fresh stab and make progress towards things you want to accomplish.
What about the Internet? Shouldn’t we turn that off too?
To that I’d ask: Are you learning and engaging your mind on the Internet, are you doing something interactive? Or are you just surfing MySpace, Facebook, or going from video to video? The Internet is fundamentally an interactive medium. TV is fundamentally one-way. Steve Jobs was quoted in Macworld as saying, “You watch television to turn your brain off and you work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on.” This week, try dialing back your consumption online, and dialing up learning and creating.
Further Reading on TV Turnoff Week and on TV Watching
What are you doing this week instead of watching TV?
I was involved in a group once with someone who was so negative that I’ve even wondered how they are alive. When I would walk into a meeting, they wouldn’t say “hello,” but would creepily come up from behind and softly launch into a complaint, like “some jerk cut me off on the road today, blah blah blah” or “did you hear about what my boss said? wahhh wahh wahh.” With this person, nothing was positive or even pleasant, ever. They laid out their sorry financial and medical situation to anyone who would listen, talking bad about relatives and friends and passing blame. Not surprisingly, nothing was ever their responsibility (and certainly they weren’t responsible for their attitude).
People who act this way suck energy, and if you’re not careful, they can discourage you from moving forward; whether that’s taking on new projects, learning about an area of interest, or pursuing lifelong goals. They can also poison social groups and make them no longer enjoyable for you and other participants.
Are you spending your time with people who cast a black cloud over everything? Or how about with the group that sits in the corner at an event and mocks everybody?
How is that working out for you? Are you happy?
I’ve had to do this reality check for myself many times, and I still do. I’ve been the king of commiserating and a mocker with the worst of them. Nothing good has come out of it, ever. I would leave feeling worse and no closer to my goals. And how do you know you aren’t the target of these peoples’ destructive diatribe when you walk away? You don’t, and you probably are.
Because people and attitudes like this are so common, it’s easy to treat this behavior as acceptable. We live in a society of 24×7 news that’s all negative. War, shootings, economics, scams, scandals, and celebrity gossip. And something about how we’re wired compels us to watch like a bad car accident.
My challenge to myself, and to you, is to stop putting up with it and turn it all off.
I’ve seen some breakthroughs in the way I exercise recently that I’d like to share. First, some background: I grew up an “athetically challenged” child. I was the classic slow, uncoordinated, last-picked kid who admittedly gave up easily in favor of activities that were less threatening and more comfortable.
Starting in early Jr. high and through late college, I carried a few extra pounds around with me. At my heaviest I was 240, and lost ~75lbs for a low of 167 in early 2003. Since then I’ve kept my weight between 170-185, mostly by portion control and remaining conscious of the food I’m eating.
Through the years - before and after my weight loss - I’ve tried my hand at lifting weights and cardio with limited success. To be honest with myself, I just didn’t put the extra effort into learning the right way how and didn’t set and follow through with plans. No wonder I remained frustrated for lacking the results I desired.
This year I set the goal of breaking through my prior limitations with distance running, as this is the biggest mental struggle I’ve faced with physical activity. Last year when I would run, I hit my limit after an average 20-25 minutes on the treadmill. On two occasions I ran :30 and :45, but I couldn’t bring myself to overcome the mental hurdle of accomplishing that again.
Last winter I had the fortune of meeting Dean Hewson, a triathlete and technical writer, at a seminar I attended. I asked for some pointers on breaking through my wall and his advice was pure gold to me.
- First, Dean instructed me to slow down. To build endurance, I wasn’t in a race. I’m already a slow runner, so this frustrated me, but I gave it a go anyways. After all, he was a triathlete, I was not.
- Second, he told me to think internally “I’m not even going to start this run until 15 minutes in.” This was a real shocker. I hit my limit at 20-25 minutes, so 15 was my valley of death. How the heck was I going to start at 15 minutes?
Since my goal this year is to run a 5k by May and a 10k by September, I started hitting the treadmill regularly about a month ago. I took Dean’s advice, slowed it down, and drilled into myself that I wasn’t starting until 15 minutes in. This alone wasn’t enough to bring it all together though - my early times were in the 30-40 minute range - good, but not great.
Then another thought came to me that brought it all together:
- I once heard a speaker admonish his listeners; Don’t dwell on how you feel before a difficult activity, but how you will feel after you’re done. I’ve lived with that thought in other areas; so I applied it here and started focusing on the feelings of accomplishment I’d have once pushing through (I wish I could remember the speaker and the exact wording).
Thanks to these thoughts, in the last two weeks I’ve been consistently running for 45 minutes and 1 hour on the treadmill. That’s right, one hour! Last night was one of those runs. For the last ten minutes, I thought my legs were going to fall off and my lungs would give out. But I kept my head up, avoided looking at the clock, and laser-focused on how I would feel about accomplishing what I had set out to do when it was all finished. It’s an amazing feeling - I know the athletes reading this can relate. If you’re reading this and can’t relate yet, don’t fret, just get out there, take action, and persist until you reach your goal (and don’t forget to write me when you do!).
Lately I’ve come across more than my fair share of aggressive drivers on the road, and the advent of spring reminds me that when you roll down the windows you often become someone else’s ashtray. But in order to feel justified venting about such things here, I must deliver some insight into the topic.
Everyone has pet peeves, you do and I do. As I’ve pondered some of mine, I’ve come to realize that things set me off because they are counter to values and beliefs I hold strongly. Here are a few examples:
Peeve: Tailgating & Aggressive Driving
Value: People are responsible for their own actions and responsible that those actions don’t recklessly endanger others around them.
Peeve: Smoking in Public
Value: A twist on the above. Do what you want, so long as it doesn’t infringe on someone around you.
Peeve: Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Value: Straightfoward, honest relationships where people are up front with each other, aren’t manipulative, and don’t backbite.
Peeve: Ugly MySpace Profiles
Value: Good, clean design, proper use of the English language in written form, and intelligence. ;-)
What are some of the things that set you off, and what values do they highlight?
I started this blog to build up my presence on the web. A positive side effect has been that I feel a sense of accountability to my audience for the things I write; especially when writing about personal goals. Hence, it’s become quite helpful in keeping me motivated, especially after my Week 10 2008 goal wakeup call post. Life is different when you have an audience, no matter how small.
Recently I started attending Jerry Mitchell and Bill Price’s 6-month Bootstrappers class on new venture creation. It’s the same class they teach in a local B-school. I decided that now was as good of a time as any to get a rounded education on the startup process and use it as an excuse to research some long-term business ideas. The side effect of this is I’m in a class with (and in some cases working in a group with) successful entrepreneurs. I see their work ethic, resourcefulness, and commitment and it challenges me to up my own game in areas where I need to grow. In effect, they’re my audience and my silent accountability.
If you don’t have one already, I encourage you to seek out a reference group. Find yourself a group of peers, both at your level and above, to pull you up. You’ll be surprised with the improvements you start making when you associate with the right people.
Having read many of the criticisms leveled at Sarah Lacy in the wake of her Mark Zuckerberg interview at SXSW (video), I offer this quick thought. In fact, it’s not even mine. Nor is it new, some dead famous guy said it.
“It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly…who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Offering my own analysis of the interview itself (which I did watch, though I wasn’t there) would be beating a long-dead horse. The point here is, for the mistakes made, Lacy was the one in the arena. While there’s value in constructive suggestions and lessons learned for improvement, outright (and sometimes mean-spirited) criticism reveals character.
It’s easy to take pot-shots from the sidelines. In some circles, it’s even cool. It’s much harder to get in the arena and put your neck on the line. I’ve played both roles, as I’m sure many of you have. It’s my constant aim to criticize less and do more. Is it yours?
I’m a geek and a tinkerer, but not much of a coder. While I used to actively code sites in high school and college, today I consider myself a power user. On an almost daily basis, I talk to people who are like most people — they have a general computer knowledge but are largely fearful of them, especially fearful of screwing something up.
Through these interactions, I’ve come to view these users in three basic categories:
- Lacking Confidence: These people need encouragement and to be stretched in their knowledge. Most average users I’ve met have fallen in this category. While explaining concepts may take a while, they really do want to understand how to use computers at least to the point where they aid in accomplishing daily tasks (My mom is one of these people; ten years ago I taught her the basics of Windows and she’s picked up the rest on her own). It’s rewarding to see the light bulb go off in these peoples’ heads as they become competent and confident.
- Willfully Ignorant: These people are almost proud that they know little to nothing about their computers. They lean on advanced users as if helpless and they make little attempt to grasp concepts as they are taught. This behavior soon exhausts the goodwill of all but the most patient advanced users.
- Explorative: This is the 20% group. Not all of these people become code ninjas or sysadmins, but they aren’t afraid to stretch themselves. They are consistently learning how to do things better and do a greater variety of tasks with their computers. These people range from the power user to development pioneers like David Heinemeier Hansson.
The only way to “help” the second group listed above is for them to change their attitude and cultivate a desire to learn. People in the first group are a pleasure to work with, they just need encouragement and prodding from time to time.
So, here’s my advice to el groupo uno: Tinker.
Computers probably feel like rocket science, but they aren’t. Maybe you want to get better at Word or Excel, or make your web browsing experience better (say, less popups and ads?). Or perhaps photo retouching is the next step so you can assemble the family scrapbook.
- Break down big concepts. Take what you want to learn and break the concepts down bit at a time. You can learn as you go. If you need help getting started, ask a power user friend. Believe me, we want to help (in fact we’re almost too enthusiastic to share).
- Test your assumptions. Don’t be afraid to screw something up. Click that icon, the one you have no idea what it does. There’s usually an ‘undo’ button (just remember the old adage; save early and often).
- Learn to take shortcuts. Find ways to do simple things like opening, saving, and printing without using the mouse and then move on to accomplishing bigger things the same way. No matter what program you are using, there’s likely a keyboard shortcut for most things you’ve always done by pointing and clicking. Lists of these commands are found in the help file under “keyboard shorcuts.” Do this and you’ll work faster and enjoy using your computer more.
Example: Editing Text
I edit what I write almost exclusively with the keyboard. Here are some common shortcuts to help:
- SHIFT + Arrow Keys highlights text from your cursor in the direction of the arrow you press.
- CTRL+SHIFT+Arrow Keys (Windows) or ALT+Shift+Arrow Keys (Mac) highlights in whole-word blocks.
- CTRL/CMD+X: Cut
- CTRL/CMD+C: Copy
- CTRL/CMD+V: Paste
You can do 90% of the editing necessary with these five simple keyboard commands. Use the first two to select your text, and the bottom three to manipulate it, just as you would with the Edit menu. Practice this and become proficient at it, and you’ll find yourself itching for other things you can do to make life easier using your keyboard.
I hope you find these tips helpful. I’m always up for sharing pointers on using computers (Windows or Mac), so don’t hesitate to ask if you have questions.
Happy Friday!
We all live in a world of perceptions. Though I didn’t watch much MTV, I’m a card-carrying member of the generation that borrows it’s namesake. Further, I “grew up” on the Internet through high school and college, where the concept of online reputation has grown in importance to the point where the web set obsesses over it.
We’re barraged every day by messages telling us what to be, how to look, and how to live. Mass media and peer pressure insists we wear certain clothes, buy certain brands, and act in certain ways to be accepted. In online terms, article after article shows and tells us what to do online to build your image and reputation: produce a certain amount/quality of content, and even to use certain “cool” web sites and have social profiles that tout not only your business acumen but show that you can party like a rockstar.
With this barrage comes the fear that you don’t look good and that others see right through you, but as Derek Zoolander asks:
I wonder if there’s more to life than being really really, ridiculously good looking?
It’s easy to lose sight of the fundamentals in life when you’re living on the inside of a digital bubble. Life is more than how people perceive you.
Integrity
“Looking good” won’t gain you respect when faced with a difficult decision. The decision or stance you take might not be popular in the moment, but those whose opinion matters will respect you in the long run. Integrity isn’t a badge you slap on yourself and suddenly have. Integrity is a character trait you have as a result of being truthful in a situation even when it doesn’t benefit you, and by living a life where your actions line up with your words and your stated beliefs.
Relationships
“And what about those shoes you’re in today
They’ll do no good
On the bridges you burnt along the way”
– Jack Johnson, “Gone”
“Looking good” and being successful won’t gain you fulfillment without rich relationships and people to share your life with. The most important of these people are family; spouses and children, parents and lifelong friends. Also are those in your areas of influence including church groups, hobbies, civic activities, and your professional network with whom you have a strong connection. Even if you are really really ridiculously good looking–either financially speaking or with a glowing career, it won’t mean much without the love and friendship of others.
This post is a serious self-check, and a bit more vulnerable and less polished than I planned when I started. Dear reader, I hope you are 100% on track for your goals, and if not, that you take my honesty as a kick in the butt to get on track. For me, this year is a year of no longer accepting excuses for my own laziness and no longer tolerating how my mouth doesn’t match my actions.
2008 is now 20% over. Now that most people have dropped their New Years’ resolutions and resumed life as before, it’s time to dust off the goals you set for yourself just two short months ago and review them. Below are a few of mine along with my status updates, here:
- Business: Attend and Present at 1 Conference: I’ll be bold and admit that I haven’t attended any conferences for a few years. Some seminars here and there, but no industry conferences. I’m looking to change that this year. While I’d like to attend more than one, I’m setting the goal there so I at least do that. Progress Report: Still looking for conferences to attend, likely in late 2nd quarter into 3rd quarter.
- Business/Relationships: Cultivate 5 solid relationships with local business leaders: I’m on track with this goal, as I have 2-3 relationships I’m nurturing that would qualify. I need to focus this goal and further define the type of relationship I’m looking to have, though I’m implying a pretty high bar by this. I’m looking at these relationships as potential mentors, influencers, or high-level referral partners.
- Relationships: Write handwritten notes: I’ve had stationery on my shopping list for a while now and will be buying some this week. People don’t write handwritten notes anymore and it’s a good way to differentiate yourself when you do. I was floored when I received one from Mike Maddaloni after meeting him at TechCocktail. While I might not take it that far for starters, Mike sure made an impression on me with that.
- Family: Spend one Sunday each month with my parents: My parents live just across town, and I want to make an effort to spend more time with them. While I haven’t hit the Sunday goal 100%, I have noted more time spent with them overall including impromptu stops there during the week. This is a good check, though, and I’ll work to focus this goal more.
- Fitness: 5k Run by May, 10k by September: In my own mind, I’m falling down on this goal. I actually took about 6 weeks off from going to the gym, and though I have elaborate excuses I’ll credit it to laziness. I’ve been more diligent as of late, and now it’s time to find a race, register and pay for it (so I’m mentally committed), and start training. (Side note: Several friends are running the Chicago Marathon, including two who need to lose a crapload of weight first. I’m still considering it given the mental barriers I’ll have to overcome, I’d love to because I know it would be life-changing).
- Nutrition: Overhaul my diet, eat more fresh vegetables, and learn to cook: My diet has consisted of pre-packaged Trader Joe’s meals, canned chili, and crackers/fresh salsa for as long as I can remember. The diet is heavy on carbs, and many sources including my chiropractor tell me what I already know, to cut out complex sugars and eat veggies. I like veggies, but old habits die hard. Progress? I’ve started to buy fresh greens more, and I do prep some cous cous (more carbs, meh). Next up: getting over my squeamishness of raw meat.
- Discipline: Go to bed consistently at 10pm, get up consistently before 6: My heart is so in this goal, and I’m excited for the success I’ve seen so far. I have to admit I’m still working on doing this consistently. The problem lies in how easily I get distracted in the evenings with reading or surfing, and using that as an excuse not to go to bed. This throws my wake-time off. Today was good: I was up at 5:15, made coffee, spent more time than usual with God, and now am writing this post. The goal behind this goal is to have an hour each morning to hone my writing skills and build presentation materials so I can start presenting.
- Fun/Life Goal: Save up and get my Private Pilot’s license: Ask anyone close enough to me and they’ll tell you how much my heart is in this one. I just ordered a book and have been gathering knowledge online for weeks. Financially I’m not yet on track for this as my car purchase last year has taken away the (nice) cushion I once had in my budget. I’m looking at ways to creatively shave my budget and increase income so I can at least get Sport Pilot certified or qualify for solo instruction this year, and finish the Private next year.
With that, I challenge you to write a similar post on your own blog and send me a note/comment with the link.
Let’s take a few common goals/New Years’ resolutions:
- Lose weight
- Eat less junk food
- Exercise more
- Spend less and get out of debt
- Spend less time working and more time with family
What’s one big reason these don’t work? They’re all phrased in the NEGATIVE.
Don’t Phrase Your Goals in the Negative Phrase Your Goals in the Positive
Here are some good goal examples:
- My goal is to be a fit, toned, 180lbs
My goal is to eat foods that make me feel good after I’ve eaten them (Ever notice that sickly feeling after pizza? Yeah you do.)
- My goal is to improve my effectiveness by focusing on one thing at a time.
- My goal is to get more work accomplished by using tools to track the amount of time I waste procrastinating online, and make the necessary corrections.
- My goal is to maintain a positive cashflow and feel good about my spending habits by sticking to my budget.
How this worked for me this week:
My weight fluxuates about 7lbs or so, like I imagine it does for just about everybody. My new-ish khaki’s shocked me on Monday when I put them on, there was no way I could wear them. I swear they’re shrinking, but that’s another story). That told me I had to be good this week because some of my dress pants and jeans are on the small side. Add some complexity: it was a week of business lunches, TechCocktail, and there was leftover Oberweis Chocolate Avalanche cake from Art’s birthday sitting in the freezer, spitting distance from my desk. I needed serious willpower to resist.
So, instead of saying to myself “I won’t eat cake, I won’t eat cake,” I let “I’m going to eat healthy, nutritious food” run through my head. Results:
- That client lunch on Tuesday at Portillo’s: Parmesean Chicken Caesar with dressing on the side (WOW was the chicken good).
- Wednesday’s Lunch: Another chicken caesar, not as good as Tuesday’s.
- Thursday dinner at John Barleycorn: YACCS (Yet Another Chicken Caesar Salad). It got old, but I rewarded myself on Friday with a piece of that cake AND a 5-alarm burger at Red Robin that night).
The proof is in the pudding, though. I just tried the khaki’s on. They’re still a little snug, but nothing like Monday. I’m going to employ a bit more of that positive reinforcement this weekend (and I seriously think they are shrinking–cold water from here on out).
Posted on 23 February '08 by Tim Courtney, under GTD, Self-Improvement. No Comments.
